the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Your penis caused this!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
