Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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