you traded sex for a burrito?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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