Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
