Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
