i don't like sucking hair
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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