you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
