so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
