I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
