Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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