Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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