did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
