from now on my penis is your penis
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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