if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is wine microwaveable?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She needs sedatives and a leash
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
