Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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