I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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