Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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