Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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