i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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