too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
