Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
