My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
