your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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