I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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