Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
