So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just gift wrapped bread.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
