Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
