Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
