we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
