remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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