This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
