i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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