i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
