They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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