I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
