True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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