It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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