we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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