2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
