3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize