I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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