Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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