let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
