Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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