I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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