I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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