Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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