My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's never too late to be topless.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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