i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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