And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
