Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
