I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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