You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
