do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
