Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
