His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
