Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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