You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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